Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Nice Guys...

 "This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well-deserved vindication is coming."
i am guilty as charged. i used ALL of the illogical, irrational "explanations" as to why i couldn't date a nice guy. and worse still, there was a time i couldn't see a nice guy even if he stood in front of me with a "i am a nice guy" blinking neon sign. the only thing i can say in my defense is that i was young, messed up and didn't know any better.
i have since grew up, shaped up and wised up and i do appreciate nice guys. i learned that actions speak louder than words and that real nice guys speak volumes through their deeds. the nice guys are the ones who show up, step up and follow through.
for all the nice guys out there know that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. be patient, us girls will come to our senses one day and we will ever be so grateful to have you by our side.
but you already knew that except you are too nice to say "i told you so"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The knots prayer

i received this as a chained letter a while ago and liked it a lot. i saved it so i can come back to it when i feel these "nots" begin running through my mind, take over my life  and create knots in my stomach and in my heart. this prayer helps me focus on who i am rather than who i tell myself i am not. it is also a reminder to think about everything i've got done so far, how far i've come.

i hope it will do the same for you.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

ਮੁੰਦਾ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਸਰਮੁ ਪਤੁ ਝੋਲੀ ਧਿਆਨ ਕੀ ਕਰਹਿ ਬਿਭੂਤਿ Aadays tisai aadays...

Mundaa santokh saram path jholee
dhi-aan kee kareh bibhoot
Khinta kaal kuaree kaa-i-aa
Jugat dandaa partheet
Aa-ee pant'hee sagal jamaatee
man jeetai jag jeet.

Translation: Make contentment your earrings, humility your begging bowl, and meditation the ashes you apply to your body.

Let the thought of death be the patched coat you wear, chastity your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick.

See the brotherhood and sisterhood of all humankind as the highest order of Yogis; conquer your own mind, and you shall conquer the world.

Aadays Tisai Aadays Aad Aneel Anaad Anaahat Jug Jug Ayko Vays.

All honor to the One,
Hail the Primal Being
whose attributes cannot be described,
Who is without beginning,
the Unstruck Sound,
and whose form is
One through every Age.

Meditation to Overcome Fear:

Mudra: Sit on your heels with a straight spine. Stretch the arms straight out in front, parallel to the ground. The palms are flat and facing the ground, fingers pointing straight forward. The arms will be shoulder-width apart.

Movement: Alternate between (a) and (b) in the following way: Begin in position (a)

Aadays (b) Raise the arms up to 60 degrees
Tisai (a) Bring the arms parallel to the ground in front
Aadays (b) Arms up to 60 degrees
Aad (a) Arms straight in front
Aneel (b) Arms up to 60 degrees
Anaad (a) Arms straight in front
Anaahat (b) Arms up to 60 degrees
Jug-jug (a) Arms straight in front
Ayko (b) Arms up to 60 degrees
Vays (a) Arms straight in front

Continue keeping the hands and elbows held straight out firmly, and with no bend, fingers pointing straight forward, chin pulled slightly in, and spine straight. This is done in a precise beat, done with a projection of strength.

Eyes: Tip of the nose.

Time: Done in class for about 23-1/2 minutes

End: Inhale deeply, stretch the spine, and hold for 10 seconds. Exhale. Repeat one more time. Relax.

this is a beautiful and peaceful song. i first heard it during a yoga class. the class, as i remember, was quite challenging plus i had to deal with some of life's unpleasantness at the time, yet when this song came on, it felt like all my burdens were lifted. i meditate with this song playing in the background and i think my cat enjoys listening to it as well ;o)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Live like a cat

us human have lots to learn from our pets. they live life in the present, no drama, no muss, and no fuss. ok maybe some fuss but completely on their terms. that is because animals don’t care what others think about them. they spontaneously do what makes them happy at that very moment, eat when they are hungry, sleep anywhere at any time, and ask when they want affection. all the “coulds”, “shoulds”, and “what ifs” don’t exist.

murphy, my cat, trusts me completely everyday of his life. he trusts that i will care and protect him. he doesn't question my love and kindness. to murphy, love is a no brainer: he knows i love him and he loves me right back. there’s no “i like you but i don’t love you” or “though he/she hurts me but i can’t bring myself to stay away” or other lame and foolish excuses. he doesn’t long for the people who abandoned him nor does he try to run away from me because i tell him i love him. love and happiness are good just like colourful ribbons and treats. just accept and enjoy.

well then what's stopping us from doing the same? why won't we accept love and joy and let go of the drama? because joy scares us more than pain. PAIN IS FAMILIAR. love and joy breed dangerous hope and the potential for disappointment. we would rather stay with the devil we know.

compares to our pets we're dumb.

today, NOW, i vow to live like a cat: to do what i love and not care what other people think of me, to surround myself with kind, trusting and trustworthy people, to always choose goodness and happiness and to be bold to ask for the love i deserve.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Yoga (United): Monday Jul. 12th, 2010

  • Centering: Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclining Bound Angle Pose)
  • Supta Padangusthasana (Reclining Big Toe Pose) (Right/Left)
  • Dandasana (Staff Pose), lift engaged leg 1 inch off of floor (Right/Left)
  • Tadasana (Mountain Pose) legs are engaged, "smiling knees"
  • Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) (slow) stay for 5 breaths at Down Dog
  • Adho Mukha Svanasana (Down Dog) feet against wall. Knees bent, lift pelvis, straighten legs, engaged thighs.
  • Upward Salute with fingers interlaced x 2
  • Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) (slow) stay for 5 breaths at Down Dog
  • Garudasana (Eagle Pose) arms only x 2
  • Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) (slow) stay for 5 breaths at Down Dog
  • Prayer hands behind back
  • Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) (slow) stay for 5 breaths at Down Dog
  • Trikonasana (Triangle pose)
  • Virabhadrasana III (Warrior III Pose) with top leg against wall
  • Prasarita Padottanasana (Wide-Legged Forward Bend)
  • Halasana (Plow Pose) with blanket for shoulders and chair for feet
  • Setu Bandha (Bridge Pose) with block under sacrum
  • Savasana (Corpse Pose)  

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Never settle for anything less than what you really want

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

 too often we don't ask for what we really want because we don't know our self worth. as much as we may want something, we don’t believe that we deserve or can have the best that life has to offer. so we rationalize away and we settle for a lot less. the more we settle, the less we get. the more we settle, the more drama we invite into our life.

THE INVITATION inspires me to live passionately and with integrity and to ask for what i really want. this is what we all yearn for all our life and it is certainly not too much to ask.

say it with me: "i'm worth it."